LESSONS LEarned
Joel Brashear
Appalachian Storyteller
What is
Lessons Learned
This is not a blog on self-help or how to be a better person. I am woefully underqualfied to write that. I have been fortunate enough to be around some very smart folks in my time, and I’ve messed up enough to have learned what not to do in certain situations. And, since I want to make sure I have this in some format that my kids and their kids will have access too, I thought I’d start putting it here.
In all things, strive for excellence, not perfection.
Perfection isn’t possible. It just isn’t. And anyone who expects perfection is doomed to never be satisfied.
Be generous with your time, talent, money, and attention.
Giving is addictive. It’s the best feeling in the world.
Always forgive, and do your best to forget.
The folks in Eastern Kentucky know a thing or two about grudges. The Hatfield's and McCoy's are the most famous example. But we have probably a dozen or more famous feuds that lead to bloodshed across the region over the last 200 years or so.
Live life with integrity, doing what is right even when no one is looking.
The easiest way to live with integrity is to surround yourself with men and women who are already doing it. It’s hard to walk a dark path when all your friends are carrying lanterns.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. And it’s all small stuff.
Worrying is one of the biggest wastes of energy that we are all guilty of doing. It does absolutely no good, serves no purpose and solves no problems.
Learn to listen more than you talk.
Abraham Lincoln famously paraphrased a verse from Proverbs when he said “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
You can never practice enough
Malcolm Gladwell famously developed a theory that no one is born to be great at a skill or craft; greatness is earned through determination and hard work.
Find a partner worthy of you
We all need help and someone to walk the path with us. It doesn’t matter if it’s a romantic relationship, a business partner or your best friend, foster relationships that are meaningful, healthy and long lasting.
Mistakes are a natural part of life
I mentioned before that you’re going to screw up. Let’s be honest, you already have several times, right? I can’t count the times I have, as a dad, as a husband, as an employee, and as a friend. The important thing is to own your mistakes.
If it’s free, you probably don’t want it
There’s an old saying that goes “There’s no such thing as a free lunch,” which just means that you can’t get anything of value for nothing in return.
Believe in yourself, even when things seem hard or impossible to achieve
Tom Hanks says in one of my favorite movies a quote that has stayed with me for years. “If it were easy, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.”
Respect and value yourself and others.
We have no control over how people treat themselves or others; we only control ourselves the actions we make.
Always be honest and kind
You can call it the Golden Rule. You can call it karma. You can call it whatever you like, but we all kind of know on a cellular level that the energy we put out into the universe is going to come back to us.
Find a Path and Follow it
Life is about choices. There are countless chances to go right or left, up or down, every single day. Each choice is like a step down a path. And the choices you make determine where you wind up, who you travel with and what kind of person you are when you show up.